Mother Nature Whispers Spring

She inhaled deeply dragging ragged, piercingly cold knives of air across my face.  
Then, she held her breath, leaving me in cold desolation for what has seemed an eternity.
I have anxiously anticipated her warm exhalation growing more impatient by the minute.
Like a petulant child, I have stomped my feet and shouted, “I want it now”.  
Restlessness and frustration builds and I chomping at the bit for she does not bid my commands.
She is her own woman, as all are, and does things in her own time as she sees fit.  
Finally, I begin to see her lips purse and pink and the first tendrils of warm wet breath leave her lips, whispering warm promises of tomorrows spring.
 

This morning I went out to walk the land and I finally saw what I have been yearning the long months of winter to see; the pink, white, yellow and purple buds that tip the bare branches of tree’s, like paint on the tip of a brush that is getting ready to blossom a canvas with color.

It seems as though the longer winter draws on, the colder my heart grows; till my thoughts, words and actions are sharply edged by jagged, icy razors. Anxiety and restlessness grow and I feel as if I am holding my breath to the point of explosion.  I can barely stand to be in my skin. Warm days come followed by cold, giving the feel of partial exhalation followed by even deeper held breaths that tare at the soul.  It is at this point, when I begin looking for the buds of spring reminding myself it’s just a bit longer.  Today, I found them. I wish I could say that the exhalation was quick and full, relieving all the built up pressure in a geyser of pent of energy and frustration, but it’s not. This exhaled breath will be long and slow, slowly melting the icy edges then working its way center to the core.

While, I try and work with more eloquent words and soft rhythms to explain, in a pretty way, the moments before spring the truth is, in our household, the moments before and at the beginning spring are edgy, ugly and have a staccato rhythm. Everyone is on edge, we argue more and our time trapped in buildings feels like handing TNT, no one is sure when someone will snap. While, this is funny while I write it, it is hell to be in. So, why am I sharing with you that living in my house right now is like working for the bomb squad, well, I am making a guess that mine isn’t the only home like this right now and I want you to know, it is not just you, you are not alone or crazy, and it will be better soon. Until then, I will share a frustrated and condoling tear with you and am sending warm hugs and thoughts of summer time fun. Hang on we will make it through.  J

Peace, Love and Happiness,
Jen